Have you ever asked yourself........
Why do i keep falling into the same patterns of brokenness?
What is it about me that keeps attracting those that hurt me?
At what point am I going to find and maintain a healthy relationship?
Am I unable to be love?
Why is everyone able to be loved except for me?
If you feel as if I am talking to you directly in this post then it is likely that your heart has been hurt and broken repeatedly. The cycle of brokenness seems to be never-ending. The relationship starts off perfect until hurt follows. When the hurt presents repeatedly, it is possible that the cycle of brokenness is a result of your lack of commitment to love your true self. What if I told you that you can heal from the brokenness and to end its cycle once and for all.
The process is not an easy process but it is a process that will help you grow from the hurt. You will learn to understand that you not only deserve to be loved by others but also loved by yourself. Love comes first from within. It is easy to see the outer beauty but what if a bitter heart corrupts the external glow. Brokenness steals your joy, your peace and your happiness. Giving away the power of your contentment makes your joy inconsistent and reliant on peoples judgement on you. Basing your happiness on others ability to love you will lead you to an ongoing transformation process to satisfy their needs and not yours. In other words, you have to find a way to give your true authentic self to yourself first so that by the time you establish a relationship you will be bring your whole self rather than your broken self.
In later blogs, I would like to explain the meaning of relationships as relationships are not only romantic. Relationships are created when two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected. Relationships are important to discuss as different relationship styles varies, just as the definition of relationships varies as everyone experiences relationships differently. Our understanding of relationships are formed by the relationship patterns that we grew up to understand as normal. For example, if you grew up in an environment where monogamy was respected then you will believe in a monogamist relationship. The same occurs if you grew up in a polygamous environment, understanding the intimacy of a monogamist relationship will be difficult. Now, lets picture the two entering into a relationship with one another without the clear understanding of each others relationship views. Without honesty and openness about their views on relationships they will inevitable hurt one another leading to a hurtful experience that will lead to brokenness. If you are unable to learn from the experience then the cycle will continue.
Relationships can only be successfully formed by those that are likeminded. Divided ideology creates conflict and destruction.
To answer the questions above.... If you have those thoughts.... If you take the time to work on YOU... Here are some suggested answers to help replace your experience with brokenness.
Why do i keep falling into the same patterns of brokenness?
- I once fell into the pattern of brokenness, however once I started to love my self more than they could love me... I started reestablishing new patterns of healing and love.
What is it about me that keeps attracting those that hurt me?
- I no longer attract what if feel. Thus now being able to attract those that are as emotionally healthy as I am. I remember where I a came from with my brokenness and I love myself so much that I am not going back.
At what point am I going to find and maintain a healthy relationship?
-My first relationship is with me and because I am healthy....... All my relationships must be healthy.
Am I unable to be love?
- I am loved!
Why is everyone able to be loved except for me?
- The best thing I did was to love my myself. Loving myself has allowed me to understand that love is my domain because I first loved me.